Do you fear death?

The question so poignantly proposed by Davey Jones.  For quite a long time I have been able to say in all honesty that I have no fear of death.  I have lived a good life so far, and if the end should come, I feel that it has been enough.  If the good lord takes me tonight, I have had a good family, the closest friends, I have been in love, I have known sorrow and pain as well as ecstasy and contentment. I have loved the Lord and hopefully I have left a mark on the hearts of those I love.  

But lately. . .
I have begun to fear.
There is so much to life that I have not yet experienced.  It didn't use to bother me, but these days, the thought of dying soon terrifies me.  I desperately want to know what it feels like to graduate, to be married, to have children, to be a father (I think I'd be a good father), I want to see my parents become grandparents, I want my children to become friends with my friends children, I want to have my own family, I want to have my own boat. I want to grow old with those I love. 

I want to lose somebody close to me. Just to feel the intensity of the pain.  I want to fall in love and be cheated on, so that I don't have to experience it in my marriage.  I want to get married and stick with it no matter how happy I am. But by the same token, I want to get a divorce so that I can understand my parents more fully, so that I can relate.

I want things that most people don't.
When I tell people I want such things, I usually get such crazy looks, but I just want the human experience and all that comes with it, the highs and the lows, the agony and the ecstasy. I want to feel it all and live to the fullest. I'm envious that God was able to experience his own death and then contemplate it afterwards.  I wish that I could know that It's like to die and still live with that knowledge.



Whatever
-Jon